Olivia Elizabeth: Confessions of a Newborn

Hello world!

My name is Olivia Elizabeth and I am new here.

I live in Chicago and am already no stranger to pride, love, and scandal.

My first month of life has been quite eventful. I was able to witness history in the making on January 20^th and can already feel the sting of the recession we are currently facing.

I live with my mom, dad, and puppy that we rescued from an abusive home. We have a good life here and I want for no amount of love or affection. I am fairing well in this new world with few problems. I have a mild ailment known as hip dysplasia which confines me to a harness for twenty-three hours a day. The doctors say I have a 90% chance of recovering fully if I continue to wear my harness for a few more months. Of all the possible ailments facing newborns these days I suppose hip dysplasia is not all that bad. I know my parents were thankful for my seemingly good health, but worried about my condition. I tell them not to fret, but you know parents. . .constantly worried about me and my state of well being.

As far as my diet is concerned, I am being breastfed and am very happy with my mommy’s decision to do so. I know I was hard on her the first few weeks, but we have a good routine now that even she can be happy with. I run through diapers like you wouldn’t believe. Breastfed babies use two to three times more diapers than formula fed ones because breast milk is a natural laxative. Whoops! Mommy gets a special present from me 10-12 times a day! I could single-handedly put those digestive regulators out of business. She always tells me, “As long as you’re healthy and happy we will do whatever it takes.”

I know I can be a burden, but mommy does her best to take care of me. Since times are tough she gets creative with the household finances. She spends significant time on a mom website known as Kizoodle and swaps with other moms around the country for everyday items (i.e. coupons and diapers) as well as non-essentials (AKA toys) so I can have a better childhood. She is also an avid couponer. I hear the incessant scissor opera of coupon clipping and I have even been known to help her disorganize her masses from time to time. Well, me and the dog in my defense. Even when faced with disorder she just smiles and reorganizes; in her heart she knows we are just trying to help. And though we have piles of coupons lying about and every grocery ad imaginable open on the floor to find the best food deals any given week, I wouldn’t trade my life here. My mommy might be a bit eccentric, but I know she is doing what’s best for me.

My daddy is also an awesome daddy. He works as a contractor repairing homes and helps add value to properties as opposed to simply erecting new ones. He works during the day and we spend the evenings together being silly. Mommy also contributes what she can creating various desserts as a sous pastry chef out of our home. I like when the house smells of cookies and the fact that I get to spend even more time with her if she can keep the orders coming in.

I have many milestones ahead of me and can’t wait to face them one by one. So far my biggest accomplishment is a social smile. No longer is my loveable expression merely a result of a gaseous outburst. I will confess I am very much looking forward to the day when I will no longer need this harness and my hip will be properly formed; just don’t tell my parents, I don’t want them to think I am in any severe pain or discomfort, they have enough to worry about! Whatever hard times may be in store for us in the future we will persevere. As The Beatles so elegantly proclaimed, “All you need is love,” so too do I. We may not have much, but we have each other. . .and that is something to smile about indeed.